A Parent’s Guide to Moving with Children
Published on May 12, 2024
Introduction: Turning a Family Challenge into a Family Adventure
Moving home is consistently ranked as one of life’s most stressful events. For children, this stress can be amplified. Their entire world—their home, school, friends, and routine—is about to change. For expat children in the UAE who may have only known life in Dubai or Abu Dhabi, an international move can feel particularly monumental. They face the loss of their familiar environment and the daunting prospect of starting over in a new country.
However, with a thoughtful, empathetic, and strategic approach, parents can transform this potentially traumatic experience into a positive and exciting family adventure. The key is to acknowledge their feelings, give them a sense of control, and frame the move as a new chapter filled with opportunity.
This guide provides practical, actionable advice for parents in the UAE who are planning a local or international move. From the moment you break the news to the day you're settling into your new home, these tips will help you support your children emotionally and practically, ensuring the entire family lands on their feet, ready for what's next.
Part 1: Breaking the News (The Sooner, The Better)
How and when you tell your children about the move is the foundation for the entire process.
Tell Them Early and Honestly
As soon as the move is confirmed, tell your children. Waiting until the last minute will make them feel like the decision was sprung on them, breeding feelings of mistrust and anxiety.
- Gather the Family: Sit down together in a calm, comfortable setting. Avoid dropping the news in the middle of a busy morning or right before bed.
- Be Positive but Realistic: Frame the move as an exciting opportunity. Talk about the new house, the fun things you'll do in the new city, or being closer to family. At the same time, acknowledge that it's okay to feel sad about leaving. Use phrases like, "I know you'll miss your friends, and I will too. We'll make sure to find ways to stay in touch."
- Explain the "Why": Children, especially older ones, will want to understand the reason for the move. Explain it in age-appropriate terms (e.g., "Dad has a new, exciting job," or "We're moving to a country with big parks and different seasons").
Listen to Their Concerns
After you've shared the news, give them space to react. They might be excited, angry, sad, or withdrawn. All of these are valid responses.
- Open-Ended Questions: Encourage them to talk by asking questions like, "What are you most worried about?" or "What are you most excited about?"
- Validate Their Feelings: Instead of saying "Don't be sad," say "I understand why you're sad. It's hard to say goodbye." This shows them you're on their team.
Part 2: Involving Them in the Process (Giving Back Control)
A primary source of anxiety for children during a move is a feeling of powerlessness. Involving them in the planning and execution can give them a much-needed sense of agency.
Let Them Help with Research
- Explore Online: For an international move, sit down together and explore the new city or country online. Look at pictures, watch videos, and find parks, museums, or attractions that they might be excited to visit.
- School Search: Involve older children in the process of looking at new schools. Let them see the school's website, photos, or extracurricular activities.
Make Packing a Fun and Meaningful Activity
- The "Special" Box: Give each child their own box to decorate. This box is for their most treasured possessions—favorite toys, special blankets, and sentimental items. This box travels with you personally or is marked to be opened first upon arrival.
- Age-Appropriate Tasks: Let younger children pack their own stuffed animals or books. Older children can be responsible for packing their entire room (with your supervision). This ownership makes them part of the team.
- Sort and Donate: Turn decluttering into a life lesson. Have them sort through their toys and clothes and choose items to donate to a local charity in Dubai, like Take My Junk. This helps them feel good about giving back before they leave.
Plan the Goodbyes
Saying goodbye is a crucial part of finding closure.
- Goodbye Party: Help them plan a farewell party or a series of playdates with their close friends.
- Create a Memory Book: Buy a scrapbook or autograph book where their friends can write messages and share photos.
- Exchange Contact Information: Help them collect email addresses or social media details to stay in touch with their best friends.
Part 3: Managing the Logistics of Moving Day
The day of the move is often chaotic. Your primary goal is to create a calm and safe environment for your children.
Maintain Routines as Much as Possible
In the weeks leading up to the move, try to stick to your family's normal routines, especially around mealtimes and bedtime. This consistency provides a sense of security during a period of immense change.
Pack an "Essentials" Bag for Each Child
Each child should have their own backpack or small suitcase that stays with them at all times. This is their personal "survival kit."
- Contents: Favorite toys, books or tablet for entertainment, comforting items (blanket, stuffed animal), snacks, a water bottle, and a change of clothes.
- For an International Flight: This bag is their carry-on. It gives them immediate access to their familiar comforts.
Keep Them Away from the Chaos
If possible, arrange for young children to stay with a friend or a babysitter for the main part of moving day. The constant stream of movers, open doors, and heavy boxes can be overwhelming and unsafe for little ones. If they must be there, set up a "safe zone" in an empty room with their essentials bag and some activities.
Part 4: Settling into the New Home
The move isn't over when the truck is unpacked. The first few weeks are critical for helping your child adapt.
Set Up Their Room First
Before you tackle the kitchen or living room, make setting up your children's bedrooms the number one priority.
- Assemble their bed and make it with their familiar bedding.
- Unpack their "special" box and arrange their favorite toys.
- Let them help decide where their furniture goes.
- Having a familiar, personal sanctuary will help them feel secure and "at home" almost immediately.
Explore Your New Neighborhood Together
Turn exploring into a game.
- Go on a Scavenger Hunt: Make a list of things to find: the closest park, an ice cream shop, the new school, the library.
- Walk the Route to School: Practice the walk or drive to their new school to demystify the first day.
Find New Activities, But Don't Rush
Help them connect with their interests in the new location. If they loved football in Dubai, find a local youth league. If they were into art, find a local class. However, don't overschedule them. Give them downtime to adjust at their own pace.
Be Patient and Watch for Signs of Stress
It's normal for children to take time to adjust. They might seem sad, act out, or regress in certain behaviors.
- Acknowledge their Feelings: Continue to have open conversations about how they're feeling.
- Spend Quality Time: Dedicate one-on-one time with each child to provide reassurance and connection.
- Seek Help if Needed: If after several months your child is still struggling significantly, consider speaking with a school counselor or a family therapist.
FAQ: Moving with Children
1. At what age is it most difficult for a child to move? While any age has its challenges, many experts agree that moves can be particularly tough for early adolescents (ages 11-14). They are highly dependent on their social circles and are at a sensitive stage of identity formation. Younger children are generally more adaptable, while older teenagers may be more focused on finishing high school.
2. How can I help my child who is very angry about the move? Anger is often a mask for sadness and a feeling of powerlessness. Validate their anger by saying, "I know you're angry, and you have every right to be. This is a big, difficult change." Involve them in planning and give them choices wherever possible to restore their sense of control. Do not dismiss their feelings.
3. What if we are moving internationally and can't visit beforehand? Use technology to your advantage. Take a virtual tour of the new city using Google Maps Street View. Watch YouTube videos about life in the new country. Connect with online expat groups in your destination city to ask questions or even connect with other families.
4. How long does it typically take for a child to adjust to a new home? There's no magic number, but most children will start to feel settled within about six months. The key is establishing routines, making friends, and feeling comfortable at school. Be patient and supportive throughout this period.
5. Should I move during the school year or during the summer? Both have pros and cons. Moving during the summer gives children time to adjust to the new house and neighborhood before starting school, but it can be a lonely time if they don't know anyone. Moving during the school year allows them to immediately jump into a structured environment and meet new peers, but it can be academically and socially disruptive. The best choice depends on your child's personality.
Conclusion: Building a New Home, Together
Moving with children adds a layer of emotional complexity to an already challenging process. However, by treating them as important members of the moving team and supporting them with empathy and patience, you can strengthen your family bonds and embark on your new life as a united front. The goal is not just to move your house, but to successfully move your home.
Planning a family-friendly move? A professional mover can handle the logistics, freeing you up to focus on your family.